Clinique - Happy

Sickening, insipid, and weak, like an orange crayon, then turns into the aerosol foam used to clean carpets with. Very close to Cyprus Rose candle wax.

Guerlain - Mandarine Basilic (Aqua Allegoria)

Glasses filled to the brimful with fizzy Orangina, sipped through green-and-yellow striped straws. Orange Crush - then - shampoo.

Versace - Bright Crystal

Slicing through starfruit and satsuma.

Montale - Ginger Musk

Blonde Californian valley-girl sweetness. Should be wearing something hot pink and tight. Teenage - just got braces removed. Seventeen magazine 1988. No ginger - just berry sorbet and wafer-cookie frolic. Bubble yum. Tangerine satin prom dress. When I smell this, my teeth hurt.

Annick Goutal - Neroli

When wet I get that crisp, stem-green pureness that made me fall in love with neroli so long ago. I love its freshness - when I smell it I crave citrus sodapop and sundresses. Alas the tang of neroli fades all too quickly, leaving behind the scent of eau de cologne. I want to put my hair in Heidi braids and gather blossoms from trees, put them in my basket, behind my ear. Neroli does smell like springtime, gay yellow ribbons and meadows.
7/10

Chanel - Coromandel (Les Exclusifs)

1st hour - Sexy, smoky, Parisienne Oriental marvel. This reminds me of the Guido Crepax heroine Valentina - Louise Brooks bob and siren lips, getting into op-art adventures of sex and intrigue.
2nd hour - I smell like a combination of ashtray, patchouli and vanilla. Things are not developing as I expected.
3rd hour - Getting headachey and stifled. Far too strong for my liking. Cigarette fumes. Cough. Had to part with this.

Burberry

Subtle, professional fragrance with vague tropical fruit tones. Fades to the lightness of an angel's kiss after five minutes, though. Airy, cottony, puffy - like a crisp white shirt or shell-pink cardigan with pearls.