Jean Paul Gaultier - Ma Dame

Glistening gelatinous blob of lilac waxy emulsion. Slightly greasy.
Oh wait, I just described hair gel.

Bulgari - Omnia Green Jade

Jasper-cold nonentity with copper-flue pistils piping up every so often. Thoughtless, loveless, and pallid.

Seven Skies - Free Love

Malibu Barbie.

I had a lot of rude things to say, but I've calmed down now. It all involved bloodsucking twats and douching and envy and anger and undeserved luxury and choking on Poilane bread and $250 creations and flying to Paris and settling for Jem and the Holograms and pink plastic dream houses and Debbie Gibson and frantic misspelling but it was all very Courtney-Love-y and besides, I've calmed down now.

Aquolina - Pink Sugar

Straight-up cotton candy and Lip Smackers that I feel a bit embarrassed to wear, like being caught kissing a Camp Rock pillow.

OR

I'm hot, you're cold
You go around like you know
Who I am, but you don't
You got me on my toes
I'm slipping into the lava
And I'm trying to keep from going under
Baby who turn the temperature hotter
Cause I'm burnin' up, burnin' up
For you baby

(sung while taping up Jonas Brothers posters in yr. room)

Robert Piguet - Baghari

This warm, peach-skinned, down-filled joy radiates feathery, pearled sensuality. A reissue (reformulation?) of the powdery women's fragrance from the 50s, this has all the class and charm of the decade, without the embalmed, aldehydc whoomph! of other period pieces. Dry like bitter orange soda and Gran Gala, yet veiled and sweet, this is so expertly blended that I can't tell exact notes, I just hum and sing in a saffron-coloured cloud of aurum and copper shot-silk. A beauty.

EDIT APRIL 29, 2010 - Now in possession of a vintage bottle. Purrs like a kitten, silk and sway, soft hips and shoulders.