punkrockperfumeparty

Nina Ricci - Bigarade (vintage edt)

2012-02-16T13:39:00.000-08:00

(It is possible that this has charm in early fall, sunset walks. But for now when it is -83765 out and I feel like constructing a wigwam/fortress/tumulus of crocheted blankets, sofa cushions, and living cats, its coppertoned, borderline-immortelle feel goes down sickly. The promised bitter orange is not there. This is a cedar cabinet filled with maple leaves.
This did not age well.)

the stork dropped more off

2012-02-14T13:18:00.000-08:00

Nina Ricci - Bigarade edt mini
Christian Dior - Dune edt mini
Jean-Louis Scherrer - Scherrer 2 edt mini
Coty - L'Aimant parfum mini (vintage)

Houbigant - Flatterie (vintage)

2012-02-10T12:14:00.000-08:00

"In December 1959 at the Daniel Cordier Gallery in Paris the eighth 'International Surrealist Exhibition' devoted to 'EROS,' as conceived by Duchamp and Breton, opened its doors . . . In another room a tape of the recorded sighs of women making love played endlessly, while mists of a perfume by Houbigant, called Flatterie, scented the air." - Perfume: Joy, Obsession, Scandal, Sin by Richard Stamelman

Glass labyrinth of mirrors opening onto billows of snow-white iris, lilies with violet hearts. Flowers with grasping hands instead of stamens. Nusch Eluard. Diaphanous milky agate of smell. I want to cradle my head to my wrist and never wake up.

EDIT FEBRUARY 14: The iris, the iris of Cuir de Russie. It's there.

Necessary Destruction Part 2 - Lentheric Dark Brilliance (s)nip

2012-02-09T13:10:00.000-08:00

After laying low and skulking about (illness, lack of employment) I am ready to demonise the earth ONCE MORE with inane perfume talk! Yay, clap hands.

In the mood for breaking things, I decided today would be the perfect moment to break open a perfume snip. Immediate death (a snip is only good for one use, and barely gives out enough to warrant a vial) = good! The satisfaction of hearing the icicle snap of obsolescent plastene = good! Having a little crystal chunk of said artificial material embed in my finger = not so good, but it matched the spit 'n' bile mood.

I broke off both ends of my black-tipped Dark Brilliance (s)nip and wrote with the uric-acid yellow fluid on my arms. The consistency was slightly syrupy, and left a strange film on my skin. Thick incense and soap-flake smell, a wraith of something that has been imprisoned in plastic for the past 65 years.
It smells like it wants badly to be My Sin by Lanvin, but it has none of that narcotic slumberland oneirism. It smells like ironing out those oldtimey gel air fresheners that shrivelled like scrotums once they hit the 2-month mark.

Creative Scentualization - Perfect Veil

2012-01-12T16:31:00.000-08:00

Pick up x female interest mag (InStyle, Cosmopolitan, x tabloid weekly, x x) and turn to page 32.
Behold.

(Let me know what you see - it will be true.)

Gorilla Perfume at Lush - Breath of God

2012-01-11T14:42:00.001-08:00

Thhis smells like the conclusion of The Wicker Man.

necessary destruction

2012-01-08T19:11:00.000-08:00

Today, a wee cardboard tube containing Lentheric Perfume Snips.
I have always seen nips, aka snips - embryonic sample vials, made of plastene, very dangerous and needle-looking, with coloured balls at the end. I reckon you snap off the coloured balls and then the precious liquid can issue forth. Here is what is left in my little sample pack:
Shanghai
Gardenia
Anticipation
Confetti
Dark Brilliance
Repartee
Will test as soon as I get over my fear of plastene snapping off into my pupils, ingestion by overly curious cat, etc.
Also: Bal a Versailles "parfum de toilette" (what is this? pick one or the other!) by Jean Desprez
Le Dandy edt by D'Orsay - simply divine, words to come soon.

Guerlain - Shalimar Parfum Initial

2012-01-05T15:22:00.000-08:00

The fresh bergamot of a tin of new Earl Grey tea, pinkness, men's soap-on-a-rope, and, faint and barely breathing, the smoky amber richness of Shalimar, all bouncing off one another like a volley of tennis balls, never adhering or coalescing into something great.

Hilde Soliani - Vecchi Rossetti +

2012-01-03T13:32:00.000-08:00

Cherry-coloured funk that slides to cherry wood.

Serge Lutens - Jeux de Peau
Maple butter and stroopwafels. It feels strange to associate this homely little muffin with the eldritch Oriental elegance of Lutens. I feel to apply it with a honey wand -
Carousels, autumn fairs, childhood. Buckles and brown betties. Makes me feel knobby-kneed and gauche. Goldenrods, honey-bears, walnut wood. But with all this warmth I still feel a desolation hollowing itself, barren honeycomb - the emptiness of Jean Rollin carnivals, Mouchette on the bumper cars.

Christian Dior - Eau Sauvage and Diorella (both edt)

2011-12-11T14:54:00.001-08:00

Both are utterly fantastic, so if you don't own these already, you know where your Christmas present money is going.
All renditions of various bedside filth -
Eau Sauvage is a man you want to know (Biblically) -
Diorella smells like a well-used bidet. Squishy, fecal aspects of jasmine cranked up to 11 on cloudy, scum-grey bathtub water. On the edge of the tub there's a half-melted cake of citrus soap sitting in a chipped white ceramic dish with a single pubic hair on the rim. Oh lord, now it's developing the waxy, greasy hair cheesecurdiness of Dior-Dior that makes you envision the word "spermaceti."
Diorella = celery-green.
Eau Sauvage = warm, slightly acrid breath and oily skin.
I'm going to put on "Histoire de Melody Nelson" now.

Hurray!

2011-12-10T20:23:00.001-08:00

Friday at work, wearing Coeur de Vetiver Sacre by L'Artisan Parfumeur -

WOMAN-FRIEND: Oh, it's you that smells that way. Let me be straight up with you. I do not like that fragrance.
Me: (thinking) Success!

On the agenda: Diorella, Bandit, Dzongkha, Secretions M., . . . any other suggestions for ugly perfume week?

I Profumi di Firenze - Talco Delicato +

2011-12-04T15:29:00.001-08:00

Once you get past the new nappies beginning, it is what it it says. Layers well with Claus Porto's Almond Milk soap.

Olo - Foret
Densely compacted cedar, like being in a woodchipper. Overgrown, branches catching. Maybe I'll use it for scenting drawers (cupboards not knickers) (unless you want to attract Otesanek).

Robert Piguet - Bandit (vintage)
Smells much like new (five years ago) Bandit to me. A bit more inky and soot-black, but the current version still conveys the sharpness and unfriendliness of the original.

Penhaligon's - Eau Sans Pareil

2011-11-29T20:57:00.001-08:00

Eau nonpareil more like - hellaciously sweet opening, berries, SweetTarts, purple powder. Knowing that this is a "chypre," I grit my teeth and wait for this nonsense to subside.
Later - Purple Euphoria glitter. If this is a chypre, I am Voltaire. Sparkle, glitter.

Rochas: Battle Madame Rochas (new edt) vs. Madame Rochas (vintage edc)

2011-11-27T14:55:00.001-08:00

MRNEDT - zzzz
MRVEDC - Why does this smell like Chinese takeaway?
MRNEDT - zzzzz
MRVEDC - I smell . . . cooked.
MRNEDT - zzzzzz

Okay, this was honestly too boring to write properly about. New version smells like the colour ashes-of-roses, old version was turned a little, both after 3 hours creamy staid floral, both nothing I'd want to put on again.
As was to be expected, it was no mudwrestling barbed wire brutefest. You can go home now, money refunded at the door.

fakeries +

2011-11-26T16:05:00.001-08:00

Dear "Jean Patou" "Sublime" "parfum," I hate you. You are a factice without having any outward sign that you are a factice. You are supposed to have a sticker saying "dummy" on the bottom, but you are awful. You look so lotuslike and blooming with your saffon-coloured nametag and gold thread, BUT YOU ARE A FAKE. You smell like Elmer's glue and rubbing alcohol. YOU are nothing. Stupid twatty little bottle, I want my sixteen dollars back, and then I will kick you off a cliff. "Jean Patou" "Sublime" "parfum," I hate you. Notice the lack of quotation marks in the last part of that sentence? My hate is real.
*******************************************************************
Action of the last few days:

Caron - Infini parfum (vintage)
Ungaro - Diva
Nina Ricci - L'Air du Temps edt
Revillon - Detchema (vintage)
Lucien Lelong - Passionnement (vintage)
Christian Dior - Diorella edt
Robert Piguet - Bandit (vintage)
Jean-Louis Scherrer edt
some weird little bottle with a P. Robertet, Inc. label reading: "4/25/1969. Ref. 1284/1(?). PERFUME. 18% Rhapsody MG - 7094. For manufacturing purposes or professional use only." SCARY SCARY WARNING LABEL QUICK CALL THE IF . . . (collapses in anaphylactic fit due to external contact)

Lush (Gorilla Perfumes) - The Smell of Weather Turning

2011-11-20T12:41:00.001-08:00

Time-lapse photography.
Peppermint frost rapidly melting off window vivid green tendrils vines climbing up succulents withering snapping back rust-grey-colour WVLNT last glimpse = curls of burnt leaf smoked glass iris out.

Guerlain - Shalimar (vintage parfum)

2011-11-13T15:17:00.001-08:00

I bow humbly to the Queen.

damage done

2011-11-13T15:14:00.001-08:00

Christian Dior - Eau Sauvage mini edt (vintage)
Houbigant - Flatterie mini (vintage), Quelques Fleurs mini edt (vintage - but I can't open the thing!)
Rochas - Madame Rochas edc (vintage), Tocade mini edt
Balenciaga - Michelle mini parfum (vintage)
Pascal Morabito - Or Noir mini
Annick Goutal - Petite Cherie edt

Boy-crazy Candy

2011-11-12T21:31:00.001-08:00

Prada - Candy edp

(This entry should be read while listening to Meryn Cadell's "The Sweater.")

Before enduring another months-long parting in our long-distance relationship, I would steal one of my not-yet-husband's sweaters, of which I pulled a Napoleon and asked him to wear repeatedly.
It would have a sunny, bready smell, like spiced stollen with lemon zest. It is fitting that my sweet would smell like sweet. I would sleep in it once, then keep it tightly stowed away in my cabinet. I didn't want to lose a single bit of its marvellous warm scent. Photos letters phone and instant messaging capped by a weekly burying of my face into the patisserie-at-8-AM-redolent soft fabric - until I felt like crying, at which point I would put it away because I didn't want my tears to taint the traces of him him him.
Now I have my love to smell all the time! Fantastical scents, cedar and lavender. This week resting my head on his shoulder I smelled cream with a delicious salty edge, like the crackle of digging into a vanilla-laden creme brulee. It smelled familiar, and I rolled it around on my tongue until it flashed: it was the salted caramel heart of Prada's Candy!

I had only smelled Candy on paper before, and was intrigued. I dug out the adorable sample box (it really does have the most striking campaign in ages - Lea Seydoux is as sweet as a pastry swan) and gave it a go, hoping I would be struck with lyrebird boy beauty.

Husband: ∞
Candy: -3

Candy is hypersweet and sticky, and one of the few perfumes that made me think twice upon application: "Will people smell this on me in passing? Did I put too much on? Why do I smell like I belong in S Club 7? Will people think less of me since I am wearing the equivalent of a Betsey Johnson prom dress?" (Evidently they did, since we were served raw chicken and tepid polenta at brunch. I blame it on Candy.) The incredible salty-crunch aspect that I loved on paper is buried under a disco igloo's worth of neon pink sugarcubes (that made no sense, but fuck it, it's staying) (you can also put in disco confiserie), sugarbabies, lipgloss from Claire's, pages ripped from Teen Vogue.
But I win, because I have my very own darl-doll to supply me with the real Quimper deal.
Love you!

Balmain - Miss Balmain spray mist (vintage)

2011-11-05T22:40:00.000-07:00

Five minutes in and my eyes are rolling back in my head like I'm in Un Chien Andalou.

More to come once I'm done rubbing my thighs frantically together, this is a proper mindmelt.

plum-wonderful

2011-10-31T21:36:00.000-07:00

I do not normally screech about body care products, but: . . .

Dr. Hauschka's Regenerating Body Moisturizer smells exactly like Chan Pui Mui.
If you have ever wanted to smell like Chinese childhood, Popo or a handful of assorted preserved plum products, run and bulldoze over everyone in your path to get this. This is the greatest body lotion ever.

Caron - Tabac Blond (late 70s/early 80s)

2011-10-30T16:58:00.000-07:00

This is a perfume that carries such expectations that you need a good, Hoovering influence to put you on level ground again.

HUSBAND: It smells like a bridge club.

HUSBAND: It smells like a bunch of bluehairs playing canasta.

HUSBAND: It smells like old women playing pinochle.

HUSBAND: It smells like Febreeze on a casino carpet.

What I say: This is a monstrously uncompromising fragrance. For me, the girl-on-whom-any-oriental-turns-to-smoke, this throttled me to the ground, rolled me into an open grave, and bashed me on the head with a spade. Repeatedly. I had flashbacks of Berdoues' Tabac - roaring, hellish, spot-on cigarette smoke sealing up all the cracks in the apartment while I cower and cry.

Perfect example of fragrance wearing me.

Perfect example of hag-ridden kelpy casualty.

Bitter, black black, claw-marks.

Amber filth.

This is the most unwholesome thing I have ever smelled. All aspects bodily are magnified.

I would like an oxygen mask and a six-hour-long bath, please.

These are my first immediate thoughts.

****************************************************

EDIT: Husband: You smell like a loose lush.
Me: Oh, do I smell like I have had many men without washing in between?
Husband: No, you just smell like cigarettes and booze.
Me: Well then, this fragrance has SUCCEEDED!

*confetti falls from ceiling upon an unleashed horde of 20s garconnes rubbing shoulders with men in raccoon coats and brilliantine*

I love my children.

2011-10-30T16:09:00.000-07:00

Okay, my poor neglected PRPP, I shan't let you get fallow ever again. Sometimes accumulation leads to fatigue, but my love has been replenished by finding Caron's Tabac Blond for the stupidest price of all time. I was hopping up and down and looking like I had to seriously use the bathroom when asking the shop-lady. I couldn't help it. IT WAS A FIND THAT ALTERED MY PHYSICAL STATE. I nearly transmogrified. Maybe I metamorphosed into a vapour for two seconds, then switched back into human form. I wanted to eat the bottle whole. I love you, bottle-of-late-70s/early-80s-extraction-in-the-last-throes-pre-Fraysse-1988-re-orchestration.

Question: Do you say hello! to your perfume collection in the morning?
Do you kiss and hug them goodnight?
Do you think of them fondly during the day?

Possible answers: Yes
No
you insane woman

L'Artisan Parfumeur - Tea For Two

2011-10-02T15:03:00.000-07:00

As in the words of my fellow: "Ginger Cake's holiday bread." Or was it "Ginger cakes, holiday bread"? Indefinite qualities of the spoken word, etc.

squawks

2011-09-26T21:06:00.000-07:00

Tokyomilk Dark - Excess No. 28
Dandruff shampoo, or a training wheels little boy's cologne.
Five hours later if you squinch your nose a bit, it could be a wan interpretation of ELdO's Vraie Blonde.

Bois 1920 - Sandalo e The
Something of the fluorescence of Euphoria, very bright, glaring.

Creed - Love In Black
What is with these blinding assaults on my senses? Obliterating violet, the feeling of soaking in theatrical greasepaint under hot floodlamps. Everything is neon and screaming. I just want peace and quiet. WHY DOES EVERYTHING TORMENT ME? I JUST WANT SLEEP! I just want sleep

Houbigant - Quelques Fleurs L'Original
Dreary, granny's-soap thing. Sunday school teacher. This is antithetical to my personality. I feel like I'm wearing a shroud.

Pirouette Handmade Essentials - Moss Garden
This provided a harmonious backdrop to a morning of hiking (ignore me direly in need of poles for balance, running into my husband and stumbling back like an intoxicated ibex). It really is like petting a moss-heavy log, peering into a terrarium, or pulling a Lady of Shalott. The ultimate outdoor recreation fragrance (notice how I am avoiding the s-word, it smells nothing like s-word fragrances). It is light and vivacious, cheap enough to spritz generously (even though Givenchy III is gorgeous, you probably don't want to use it for a hike!), and in these oakmoss-endangered times, it is a very very very good reference to have when you are disoriented by a sea of fruit-syrup chypre-pretenders. Stockpile.

Boucheron - B
"Son of Generic Video."

Unwanted Vintage Perfume Buying Advice (from a world authority)

2011-09-18T10:33:00.000-07:00

1) Eff the internet. Get to know the (hopefully rural) towns around you and explore everywhere within a 2-hour radius. Discover exotic scenery (mine: dairies, alien land strewn with gigantic wind turbines, mountains), pack all kinds of Cocteau Twins CDs and candy in the car, and make a day of it.
2) It helps to have an extra pair of eyes. I am a shrimpy fillette with rubbish eyesight, but my darling (tall) boy-friend-oh aids me immensely by getting to shelves where I can't, can spot round Guerlain bottles with laser-precision and can separate the wheat from the chaff like a CHAMP. (examples: "I found something that said Guerlain, but it was a factice," etc)
3) SET YOURSELF LIMITS. Bring $20 cash and make that your allowance for the day. For mini-bottles, no more than $5 - large bottles that are half-empty, $10 - and for full bottles, $15. For my purposes, the mini is king - I can try more things, and it always helps to have a reality check (Do you really need 300ml of Eau de Givenchy? Do you really?)
4) Just because some bigwig says a scent is important, doesn't mean you have to have it. Books like Fabulous Fragrances I and II by Jan Moran and Perfumes by Jean-Yves Gaborit have lovely tables in the back that help sort out what kinds you like. According to Countess Moran, I am a chypre-floral-animalic girl! Rowr! I tend to zoom in on those first, because I know that certain fragrances will give me more pleasure than a frenzy of indisriminate greed.
EXAMPLE SITUATION: few weeks ago - saw Shalimar EdT, 1826 by Histoires des Parfums, L'Air du Temps EdP, Miss Dior EdT, Givenchy III parfum, and Chanel No. 19 EdT - I walked out with the latter three, happy and content in my green reverie.
5) Don't cry over empty bottles - take a breath, and let the memories of Inoui, Gardenia by Chanel, and Diorama go. All together now.
6) Don't double-buy. You have one bottle of L'Heure Bleue. Be honest - you will never finish it, let alone another. Save space and money for a rare bird.

BUYING REPORT SEPTEMBER 17, 2011:
Miss Balmain spray mist - $3
Bernard Lalande - Irise parfum (who is this person??), $2.95
Shalimar - $7. Did I break one of my own rules?

bargain bonanza

2011-08-21T16:31:00.000-07:00

OH, who got fabulous 1/2-full bottles of Un Lys and Fleurs De Citronnier by Serge Lutens for $3 each?
Oh me oh me oh my!

Melvita - Cologne aux 8 essences

2011-08-20T11:01:00.000-07:00

If Limacol is harsh enough to induce fears of spontaneous combustion upon application, and Christian Dior's Eau Fraiche is swooning in swandown, Melvita's Cologne aux 8 essences is exactly in the middle: a Meret Oppenheim'd cheesegrater, a fur-covered mandoline.

It is inexpensive, practical, and you can use it all in a month or two. Orange, lemon, bergamot, litsea cubeba, lavender, rosemary, petitgrain.

2011-08-15T19:45:00.000-07:00

"Of course they visited the parfumeries and indulged in all manner of mingled fragrances, cunning fards, and rare oils. Some of the scents were made from real flowers, others from mysterious unnatural blossoms, whose odours were full of the intoxications of desire. There was Jasmine, full of intangible charm, refined and delicate as a Schubert melody; Geranium, curiously reminiscent of withered loves; unblended Ambergris, that had the power to excite the most anaemic virgins; Civet; Saffron; Benzoin; Stephanotis; Kiss-me-quick; Frangipanni; Cul-me-to-you; Bouquet des Amours; Peau d'Espagne; Fleur d'Amour; Jicky; Bouquet Largillerie; Jardin de mon Curé; and Bosom-Caresser."

from Count Fanny's Nuptials by Simon Arrow, 1907, via Bizarre ed. Barry Humphries.

Aroma M - Geisha Noire

2011-07-24T18:33:00.000-07:00

This smells like Shalimar.

The end.

Rochas - Femme vs. Femme

2011-07-10T15:17:00.000-07:00

1) Old Femme (OF, parfum) - cedar, woods, the smell of Max Klinger, a soft female hand sliding into a chamois glove, buttons up the forearm.
2) New Femme (NF, presumably eau de parfum) - cumin, a vinegary, high-pitched top note (olfactory acidulant)
3) Switch to OF and the velvet drapes fall - a cocooning plum skin, downy, meditative dusky silence - light in Georges de la Tour paintings
4) NF and the curtain's yoinked up and too many damn things are going on, like finishing a Tetris level: men in big boots leaping to balalaikas, bears snapping at their bonds, pixellated onion dome, disjointed reedy cumin and pickling brine
5) OF - clove studded pomanders, beeswax, port wine, dark purplish lipstain.
6) NF - armpit; something like morning sex on a summer's day.
7) OF - glowing coals, clove-cedar-plum lit up and deliquescing.
8) NF - this smells like someone's face post-giving-cunnilingus. I know, because this happened yesterday.
9) OF - the aforementioned clove-cedar-plum configuration being rent apart by Michael Snow's Breakfast (Table Top Dolly)
10) NF - approaching softness.
11) OF - warm skin.
12) NF - softer, honeying.
13) OF - pensiveness.
14) NF - Essentially, this is a sweaty glow after a good run. It needs a good bath (the cumin doesn't let up), has hair matted to its face, but is flushed and in good spirits.
15) OF, on the other hand, has perfect composure, and smells at home on the neckline of a formal gown, deep in the billows of a four-postered bed, or a monastic cell (the clove is very prominent on me).

(Exeunt NF, leaving drips of beeswax)

OF - entering two-hour mark, intensifies - thick stone-fruit compote, headier than it's ever been.
End - Sinking into furs, chypre sleep.

Notes: For bonkers clove richness (and perhaps not going out in public), smell Fendi's Asja.
For cedar and plum, Shiseido's Feminite du Bois.

I Profumi di Firenze - Limone di Sicilia

2011-07-01T18:31:00.000-07:00

Fruittella!

CB I Hate Perfume - Winter 1972

2011-06-08T19:45:00.000-07:00

Sweetmeat of beet,
Petite beet.
A beet discreet,
This beet's a treat!

Honore des Pres - Vamp a NY

2011-06-05T15:36:00.001-07:00

Phase 1: unsettling rubbery tuberose, like The Dinner Party by Judy Chicago meets BodyWorlds

Phase 2:

If ambrosia was made with cherries jubilee instead of oranges - dessert bowl striped red and white with whipped cream, coconut, and heaps of enticingly dyed fruit

Phase 3: Cherry clafoutis with vanilla bean flecks. In the background hot metal, wax, and rubber moulds (undusts 22-year-old memories of my father's jewelry workshop, Exacto knives, the Chinese food tins he used to store material - egg biscuits, teas)

cooking liquid

2011-06-01T17:20:00.000-07:00

A little trek through ragdoll areas, I put these in my wicker basket (pompoms and ribbands) on SATURDAY:

Guerlain Nahema (vintage parfum) - This was literally cooking under a cupboard lamp, the Fisher-scone warm bottle had been baking for god knows how many years, but smelled serviceable - like a neon light-tube, rosy radon. This was neighbours with (perhaps, I hope, better have been) empty bottles of Silences and L'Arte di Gucci - opaque black plastic and infrared oven temperatures are not my friends

Robert Piguet Fracas (vintage parfum) - YES I BRAVED THE WITCH WOMAN. I braved her, and bested her! Trying to tighten the cap, she screeched away, but eventually gave it to me for one dollar because she just wanted it the hell out of her store. I've decided that perfume allergies are delicious things. Do you want scented items out of your home? You may contact me at . . .

A labeless something I have 98% identified as Le Galion's Le Jasmin, judging from the wave and swelter emanating from the little bottle, as well as the (surprise) galleon on the cap

Estee Lauder - Private Collection (vintage parfum)

MINI REVIEW OF REVLON'S CHARLIE, ON SOMEONE ELSE IN PASSING

In a work environment, this smells monklike and austere. It is heavenly after a lather of cheap coconut hand lotion in the bathroom, 3PM spritzes of Dolce and Gabbana, and Clorox sanitising wipes. It is sharp, stemmy, anti-sugar anti-sweet, and has a definite no-nonsense aura to it - because of that, I feel like affixing my teeth and anteater snout to the neck of its wearer in gratitude.

L'Artisan Parfumeur - L'Eau de Jatamansi

2011-05-08T13:31:00.000-07:00

(I've held off on reviewing this because I was always sure that my ovaries were tampering with perception of this fragrance. Is it really that short-lived? Oh, I'm just menstruating, my hormones are off! Is it really that short-lived? Oh, I'm just about to menstruate, my hormones are off! Is it really that short-lived? Oh, I just finished . . . etc)
Two things I can say with certainty: a) it smells like cardamom-scented writing paper and b) it has the lifespan of a fruit fly.

BITES

2011-03-29T13:33:00.000-07:00

(short bursts written with a ganked-up arm and the nose-muff of springtide allergy)

Pirouette Handmade Essentials - Jasmine Musk
Will I get swarmed if I wear this outside? I feel like Daphne-not-Daphne-not-with-laurel. My arms are turning to branches of jasmine, petite Otik-ova! I can feel insects alight on my wrists, to nibble at this dark jasmine-amber confection. At $26-$28, Pirouette True Perfumes are some of best buys of the century.

L'Artisan Parfumeur - Traversée du Bosphore
Me: Good?
Husband (nodding, glazey-eyed): Mmm, marshmallows.
Me: Bottleworthy?
Husband: (nodding, speechless, nodding)
Me: Well, that's that. (writes cheque for $115)

Etro - Sandalo
UOMO! (L'uomo?) I feel rubbed-up against. 5-7 with a frotteur!

Andy Tauer - Lonestar Memories

2011-02-26T16:40:00.001-08:00

Honore des Pres - I Love Les Carottes (eau de parfum)

2011-02-26T14:40:00.001-08:00

This is playing my head like a game of Go. It's raw carrot! Raw carrot with creaminess from orris butter, and the humble-exorbitant hippie-luxe seesaw is making me feel tipsy. Perhaps culinary anachronisms like French angel-hair jam and the drink my mother makes of carrot juice, condensed milk, and nutmeg make sense in this world, the world of Olivia Giacobetti. I'm actually really confused. No, the rootiness of it all makes sense. No, yes. This is strange like my beloved Shu Uemura Fleur de . . . series, and I want to buy a bottle and mess some brains up. This will probably have a later addendum, I'm too confused. ehhehhehhh

Morricone Aromatico

2011-02-26T13:49:00.000-08:00

While trolling the local Value Village for old Trivial Pursuit card decks and the Solid Gold game, in the $1.99 CD section I found a marvelous 2CD set entitled Morricone Aromatico. The liner notes of this complete jewel state that it "brings together the best of two worlds: the peerless music of Ennio Morricone and delicious natural aromas." !!!! Let's-fall-in-love-now alert! (personal information time: yes, let's DO fall in love, because my husband did indeed seduce me with a bottle of Borneo 1834 and Morricone CDs . . .!) Every song has a little description of the aromas that spring to mind while playing. Unfortunately it seems that the set didn't come with ooh, 41 different essences, but that's alright because "most of these scents [are] already well-known to everyone" (thank you for not throwing frisbees like "Papua New Guinea," "Casu marzu," and "yak meat" out, benevolent and equitable liner-note-writer!). Intrigued yet? I hope you are! Let's explore some of these:

"L'assoluto naturale" - Linden - "A modest and soft balance among woody, floral and waxy tones."

"Piume di cristallo" - Violet, "Female, fragile"

"Non rimane piu nessuno" - White grape, "Light, crystalline, having a fruity sweetness" (Er, forget the backdrop of the creepy giallo knife)

Is there any other music that encourages synaesthesia?

yeah yeah yeah

2011-02-25T16:19:00.000-08:00

Christian Dior – Eau de cologne fraiche

The most soignée eau de cologne in the world – half Lisa Fonssagrives, half Juliette Greco. It’s extraordinary how a touch of oakmoss - velvety, shadowy, and sinuous – can transform what I thought to be a simple necessity into one of the most marvelous, refined, luxurious citrus fragrances. Beautiful women do not really come to mind when I think of perfumes – rather, nature, plants, foods, textures, but with Eau de cologne fraiche I picture pages out of Vogue, 1954.

GETTING AROUND WORK

I have FINALLY discovered a solution to my workplace fragrance conundrum. Don't choose overt florals, marine things, aldehydic things. Instead, let gourmands, or complete nonsensical noncategory fitting weirdoids be your friends! Examples: L'Artisan Parfumeur's Coeur de Vetiver Sacre has treated me very well - the smell of wiping my forearms with damp black teabags? Tea ≠ flowers ≠ perfume. Therefore, I cannot be wearing perfume! Dzing!, also from those same wonderful people? Tire tread + antiquarian bookstore + vanilla funk ≠ flowers ≠ perfume. Therefore, I am free to douse myself daily! I have worn these two beauties and sat in verrrrrry close proximity to jokers who were "allergic to perfume" and not received a complaint at all! Perhaps another tip is say no to sprays, and hug your sample vials (esp. with wands) close. In the morning, two good swipes on each arm, and I'm good to go. So! I'm so happy I'm overdosing on exclamation marks. I'm delighted because I'm working through my FREAKINNN' TERMITE MOUND HUGE bags-o'-sample too. Yay!

Etat Libre d'Orange - Secretions Magnifiques

2011-01-23T21:34:00.000-08:00

Dead fish eye. A limpet. Sea-scum.

Coquelicot co-co-ri-co

2010-12-24T19:52:00.001-08:00

* Coquelicot bonbons by Barnier! These fabulous sweets are flavoured with raspberry and . . . tonka bean. The tonka bean adds a vanillic depth, body, and syrup-creaminess, making it not just another sweet for children . . . the flat scarlet tablets, imprinted with poppies, are darling too.
* free (!) cannoli filled with ricotta, chocolate, and fresh cream, in a still-warm pizzelle, a charming end to a delicious salumi lunch.
* Christmas present to myself: a set of vintage D'Orsay eaux de toilette, Intoxication, Divine, and Le Dandy; L'Heure Bleue vintage eau de cologne, in the classic round bottle design; and a mystery! Rosée de Provence by Christianny, a company located in Grasse. Online it is listed as "Rose de Provence" but my label definitely says Rosée. The perfume inside is rich, dark orange, and since Christianny was apparently an essential oil producer, I'm looking forward to all the beauty!

Merry Christmas to everyone!!! Looking forward to carols and midnight mass (and the incense of midnight mass!) tonight!

running out of closet space

2010-12-18T19:01:00.000-08:00

I need a walk-in humidor/perfume cellar. Things are getting out of hand.
Especially when I now have a beautiful Le Galion box set!!! 8 out of ten perfumes (missing Lily of the Valley/Muguet and probably Tubereuse): La Violette, Brumes, Bourrasque, Galion d'Or, Sortilege, La Rose, Snob, and Gardenia. All extrait, all full, all mine! I also spied another set, that I waffled on because all I wanted out of it was Miss Balmain.
Purchased: some Amouage thing for $11, that I can't identify for the life of me.

these aren't my words.

2010-12-13T20:49:00.001-08:00

The smell of big hotels and deckchairs,when people are having aperitifs:a mixed scent of amber,cigarette smoke,wax polish;and those meats cooking in wine.

from Alix's Journal by Alix Cleo Roubaud.

little sniffs, upgrading, low lighting, a lament

2010-11-13T21:01:00.001-08:00

Scores of today:

Mystere eau de parfum - Rochas
Madame Rochas
Femme - Rochas, the "new" version with the black cap. Unfortunately at another store when I bought -
Amour Amour - Jean Patou (sweet spiralled bottle with gold cap)
- I stumbled into the old version of Femme (lacy cylinder with gold cap), shrugged my shoulders and went, "Too bad! I already purchased you today!" But now I want to relive those few minutes and put
everything in its proper place.
From a previous jaunt: Eau de cologne fraiche - Christian Dior, so beautiful in its houndstooth bottle.

How many of you believe in upgrading your perfume collection? Is one bottle of simple eau de cologne enough? Or must you rush out and scream, "Vintage! Eau de parfum! Parfum! Original, more more!" I myself believe I should exercise moderation because I make a fool's wage, but am I too cautious? Should I splurge, have doubles, triples? No. I don't want that answer. One is enough. (Except on the subject of Shu Uemura, an obsession felt solely by me. Uemura addicts: out of the closet! I don't want to hear about eyelashes! Let's talk about his other areas of expertise!)

* * *
I have started work at a . . . scent-free office. Yes, it is horrific to me. I work cheek by jowl with other typists, two of whom claim to have asthma, one equipped with a fan (and turns it on in November) and who scowls at her neighbour's hand lotion. It is saddening - at my previous workplaces I loved sailing in on a cloud of Le Dix or Safran Troublant, smelling my wrists whenever I got bored or discouraged, perfume being my perk-up, my endless friend, my comfort during drudge or annoying customers or fatigue from shopkeep standing. Now I apply faintly, with a meek hand, perfume that I know won't last long or can be mistaken for shower-freshness - Lann-Ael or Heeley's Menthe Fraiche respectively. That above-phrase isn't a slight to them - I'm so happy that they exist and at least give me an hour of illicit joy. It breaks my heart that I have to be away from my darlings for five days out of the week. I love my scents, I only feel half-there without them. I miss scanning my collection in the morning and choosing who will be my friend for the day, who will complete the mood I want to be in, who can change me, lift me, elate me. Yesterday I gorged myself on Fendi's Theorema and today on Arpege - oh, the cursed work week! I miss you, my perfumes, I can't believe bureaucracy is denying me your pleasures!

L'Artisan Parfumeur - Coeur de Vetiver Sacre

2010-10-24T13:29:00.000-07:00

The top notes are a bit dicey - at once warm, mulled spicy, and sour, like oversteeped tea, President's Choice Memories of Asja, and unripe persimmon pucker. Smells like something chewed over. The slender stick-like figure of vetiver emerges cautiously - but it is enmeshed in fruit skin and tea steam. Transparent, wavering. Christmas tea, monk's blend. The drydown is pretty, vanilla tea.
It smells exactly like the notes say. There are no surprises. If you read closely and calibrate your assumptions accordingly, you will be pleased.

current obsessions

2010-10-24T12:51:00.000-07:00

* bread spread thickly with creamy-sweet Isigny butter, so much that I can't see the bread! I am eating it nonstop, breakfast, dinner . . . in the morning, when asked what I wanted for supper, I answered "I have all I need here," gesturing to my plate stacked with bread and butter. I probably put two or three tablespoons on each slice.
* carob seed honey, the most delectable one I have ever tried. I'm a honey freak, with almond-, lavender-, and orange-blossom coming in near the top, but now carob seed is the reigning queen. It has the darkest flavour, nearly fermented and alcoholic, like port or rum, with hints of coffee, dark treacle, and chocolate. It tastes celebratory! When paired with the aforementioned Isigny butter on bread, my mouth approaches a sort of delirium I don't know how to deal with. I offered some to my husband and he declined, saying he would try later on. Adding, canvassing my beastly devouring ways, halfway through a log of butter purchased last night, " . . . if there's any left."
* Leone Miste Digestive pastilles. I probably should not be eating these like normal candy, seeing as the words "lozenges," "herbal," and "digestive" appear on the label. These are amazing, so bitter they send you into a fugue state for a few moments, and taste like every single antiquated Italian liqueur in Gabriele d'Annunzio's cupboard. The flavours read like a poem: Fernet, peppermint Fernet, gentian, peppermint gentian, cloves, myrrh mint, "ugly but good," camomile, citron mint, citron sage, rhubarb, arquebuse (???), and alpine herbs.
* This song, in memory of Ari Up:

Hilde Soliani - Freschiiissimo

2010-10-13T14:20:00.000-07:00

Lime-ginger brown sugar cookie.
My husband (the gourmand addict) liked it.

Balenciaga - Cialenga (vintage)

2010-10-07T14:45:00.000-07:00

Intimidating seven-foot tall she-wolf chypre. But threatening not for the usual chypre reasons - this is not necessarily angular, sharply-cheekboned, crystalline, or frigid. On the other hand it is moss (Gustave Adolphe Mossa more like it) and softness run amok. Smother Love. Nutmeg and clove overrun a fragile lily heart, like spiders wrapping their still-kicking prey in silk. Some perfumes are opulent and majestic yet transparent, like Guerlain's Parure - Cialenga is opulent but bludgeoningly heavy. If it were a mode of murder it would be rolling someone up in a gigantic Persian rug and leaving them there until their ribs cracked under the weight. It is the smell of a philanderer plying you with alcohol. In fact, I can think of no occasion to wear this save for seduction and swindling. If this is your signature scent, I am afraid and hope never to meet you. If you know someone who loves this, one day you will wake up pantsless and with no valuables in a semi-congealed pool of Astroglide.

Hermes - Eau de Gentiane Blanche (eau de cologne)

2010-10-06T13:02:00.000-07:00

Cubanelles - lime-and-sandstone - bleached white bones in the desert - scrubby, stunted leaves struggling to grow out of chalk - the gnawing feeling when your bottle of water is empty - so thirsty your gums are sticking together - lunar paleness -

Auroratone

2010-10-04T14:40:00.000-07:00

Here is a footnote to the last entry.

Christian Dior - Miss Dior (vintage eau de cologne)

2010-10-04T14:27:00.001-07:00

I'm kind of nodding my head in a trance. One of the most radiant perfumes in existence, that brings to mind star-names and constellations (Cassiopeia). Do other life-forms exist? I just stared at the little houndstooth bottle today in rapt, silent meditation, feeling simultaneously humbled and exalted, sniffing my wrist, overcome. "It is a leather chypre with a dusty, earthy, herbal tone, cumin and ground seeds, nightblooms, indolic jasmine." But those words don't tell you that Miss Dior goes on and on and on, it is the colour green ricocheting off all ends of the universe, that it is its own invented spectrum of green, it is if all movement was refracted in olivine hues, that it is a John Whitney film, visual music, an Auroratone of oscillating scent, and that it is COSMIC in its reach, beyond arrondissements/cities/suburbs/pastures/caves into comets and cloudbursts.

L'Occitane - Peony

2010-09-15T13:06:00.000-07:00

Green-pink.

The Different Company - Sel de Vetiver

2010-09-08T20:28:00.000-07:00

I accidentally spilled the entire contents of the sample vial on the carpet, and I'm cross, for this was one of my go-to scents for everyday use - a solid, rooty, dirt-caked vetiver with a meaty black-licorice aspect, lightly dredged in salt. It made me hungry. It wore lightly, being classy and spare enough for work, but distinctive enough for my pleasure.
Yes, bottleworthy.

Jean Couturier - Coriandre (vintage)

2010-09-08T20:11:00.000-07:00

Unbelievably sexy green floral with an oiled dark emerald sheen, like the pelt of a nocturnal animal. As it progresses it takes multiple twists and turns: first aldehydic and sparkling as jade-green aurora borealis and meteor showers, then duskier, now smoky and civet-rich, then lastly angular and elegant, a sweet, silken chypre. All stages very beautiful, sensual.
This basically has the same effect that Chanel's Cuir de Russie has on me - it makes me want to be fucked on the hood of an expensive (European sports)car.
OUI CENTERFOLD BY JEANLOUP SIEFF, 1978.
Coriandre makes me feel like Emmanuelle Arsan, en route to unspeakable erotic adventures!
Everyone should own this perfume, vintage if you can.
Forget orientals, forget Opium, forget try-too-hard tuberose - chypres have real powers of seduction -

small-haul

2010-09-05T19:25:00.000-07:00

Miss Dior EdC - Christian Dior
Calandre (mini? perhaps a parfum? This had 15 ml, far too big for a mini) - Paco Rabanne
Coriandre mini - Jean Couturier
Givenchy III EdT mini - Givenchy
Arpege mini - Lanvin
Emeraude parfum de toilette - Coty

But why, why, why, did I find Fracas PARFUM in the store where the owner was a psycho witch? (said in a rambling, shrill, crystal-meth addict voice) "Don't open the bottle! One time a customer came in and opened one, and I got a terrible headache! Oh, don't open it! These perfumes are not meant for use on the skin! You don't want to put them on! DON'T OPEN IT! These have TURNED RANCID, THE LIGHT TURNED THEM! My sister-in-law . . ." I had to walk out at this point.

Strange Invisible - Musc Botanique

2010-08-27T14:01:00.000-07:00

This smells exactly like L'Invisible, with a mild green note in place of the mild lemon note.

Etat Libre d'Orange - Charogne

2010-08-26T14:44:00.000-07:00

This perfume has always vaguely repelled me, on previous wearings being exceedingly heady, persistent, and pestilent. Today, it resembles a stupendous (I want to use the word "arsequaking" - there, I did it, it's typed!) avalanche of sweets (chocolate syrup, bubblegum, marshmallow fluff, vanilla glaze) overrunning a small village whose main industry was tanning hides. Or a Wonkalicious Mount Etna burying inhabitants in Magic Shell. Wow, I have no taste or tact.
Worn leather boots, lilies drifting in and out.
An interesting variation on the sweet/inedible, best represented by my (true love, only one) Borneo 1834 by Serge Lutens.

Coty - ? (vintage)

2010-08-12T15:55:00.000-07:00

Toasted coconut, gardenia, tuberose, a skin-warm lei quietly wilting for 2 hours, waxy lipstick, and vanilla, all smelling as golden & burnished as a polished coco-de-mer. I know nothing about ? and it is perplexing to posit it in my vintage collection - while my other antique beauties are apple-cheeked (L'Origan), haughty (Parure), ladylike (Le Dix) or crisp (Sikkim), ? falls into the hitherto-unknown category of "Germaine Cellier slumming it and scenting a line of edible body creams." There is a fattiness that tastes of vanilla, blocks of coconut cream and mascarpone. In fact, a perfect image of ? might be skimming off a vat of gardenia-infused colostrum.

PS ? is indeed its name. It is search-engine resistant. ? de Coty, I curse thee! If you know anything about this fragrance, please share!

Monyette Paris

2010-08-09T14:06:00.000-07:00

Very heady suntan-oil slick with a greenhouse-authentic orchid heart, tuberous and floury, with a hint of unprocessed cacao pods. "The raw and the cooked." Sunshine and botany all in one.

Hermes - Kelly Caleche

2010-08-09T14:05:00.000-07:00

Getting ready to go to work.

L'Occitane - Honey and Lemon Shimmering Eau de Toilette

2010-08-05T18:36:00.000-07:00

I am turning into a large sack of barley sugar, I am turning into a large suck of sucre d'orge!

Thierry Mugler - Womanity

2010-08-05T13:13:00.001-07:00

Filmy milky-fig and hairspray pink thing that encourages no goodwill towards my gender.

Strange Invisible - L'Invisible

2010-08-02T21:05:00.000-07:00

All the SI (not Situationist International! Imagine if there was SI scent! Sandpaper bottles!) perfumes I have smelled are resolutely funky upon application. They have a musty, stained, nicotined dankness that feels oppressive in opposition to their composition - in this case, lemon and blood orange. L'Invisible also possesses a peculiar quality of smelling dense yet faded at the same time, like digging up a 1960s chenille bedspread from an attic. Despite having poured on half the sample vial, it still felt like it was slipping away from reach with every second (not good for $135).
Dirty indolic lemons, or blighted lemons - drying lemons in a damp basement and having mildew attack it.

Etat Libre d'Orange - Je Suis Un Homme

2010-08-02T16:42:00.000-07:00

Forget the sleazy packaging and smell (better yet, smell it on a handsome fellow): Je Suis Un Homme is the most beautiful and crisp woody citrus. A delectable soda-fizz opening, crackling lemon and bergamot, gives way to a modern, clean, and very elegant base of patchouli and clove. Smelling this on others is like wearing pink-tinted Lolita heart-shaped glasses, everyone becomes handsome - boys in suits, boys in sweaters, boys who like Ben Sherman shirts . . .

F. Millot - Insolent (vintage)

2010-07-29T15:20:00.001-07:00

This smells like Mitsouko and Fracas jammed together. Peach chypre at the beginning, milky tuberose at the end. This is not as good as it sounds. I wanted it to be Celine and Julie Go Boating but it's really Tango and Cash.*

*This sentence will be tweaked. It could later involve Kid 'n' Play, Crippled Masters, or Shampoo.

Comme des Garcons - Zagorsk (Series 3: Incense)

2010-07-15T11:52:00.000-07:00

ZAGORSK = ZAM-BUK!

Caron - Pois de Senteur (vintage eau de cologne)

2010-07-12T12:18:00.000-07:00

Since I live in the city and not Sissinghurst, I often lose sense of what plants actually smell like. This sad situation was rectified by a wonderful trip to British Columbia with my fellow, where I made up for my lost hours - crawling around the herb garden at Van Dusen on all fours, bruising rose, orange and coconut geranium with my fingers, shrieking at lemon verbena and all kinds of mints and thymes, and generally embarrassing the company by acting like a lovesick truffle pig. Victoria's Butchart Gardens brought delights too, in spite of the extreme heat (I am cooked - I should have taken a hint from the pretty girls in sundresses and bonnets, while I tramped about in filthy Converses and ugly jeans) - the rose garden introduced me to the beautiful sweet pea, which was interlaced on trellises with pinks and climbing eglantines. The sweet peas shamed the roses a thousandfold - the (overrated) Lancome and Paris preened with boring tea-fumes while the sweet peas unfurled a honeyed orange blossom scent, that I dove my face into repeatedly. Pois de Senteur, after an hour-long wait (in which it prissily powders its nose, fiddles with its beauty-patches, and colours in a cupids-bow) radiates a sweet-pea scent in microcosm, buried under a greenhouse's worth of roses and jasmine. It's heavier and more powdery than I would expect - or want, quite honestly. Guerlain's perfect rose-and-jasmine Ode is more suitable for such grande dame moments, so that leaves Pois de Senteur wandering in purgatory - if only it could get a good jar of cold cream to wipe off the carmine and rice-powder from its face! If someone can recommend a lovely sweet pea soliflore, please do!

L'Occitane - Verbena Summer Secret

2010-07-11T15:38:00.001-07:00

At first a pleasant light citrus with a hint of anise, but now it smells like I jammed my wrist up my armpit. Or someone's armpit. Faintly sulphurous after twenty minutes. It smells like ineffective deodorant.
I don't know, it feels like attending a costume ball and seeing that the prettiest girl has spinach in her teeth. Or large sweat patches on a Balenciaga gown.
It's not . . . horrible, it just has whiffs of ill hygiene that ebb and flow every ten minutes or so.

Issey Miyake - A Scent

2010-06-23T16:08:00.001-07:00

Fills me with the same feeling as facing impenetrable Excel formulae.

wheeeeeeeeee

2010-06-06T21:15:00.000-07:00

wheeeeee
Oh Nordstrom Rack and your delightful 75% off sales! Do you know how long I have searched for these? Taken off the market sometime in 2009, they too might be mouldering at a Rack near you! I carefully peeled off the sale sticker and they actually went from 30-50-75%! The Fleur de Rose is more evanescent than I remember, but the Fleur de Source still smells wonderfully-weirdly like a public swimming pool. I wanted more bottles of my favourite Fleur de Terre, but some lame-oids (a lameoid. Singular) decided to RIP OPEN THE PACKAGING IN FRONT OF ME AND SPRAY IT ON AND MAKE A FACE AND LEAVE THE CELLOPHANE CRUMPLED AND BOX HALF-OPEN. Ugh! For some reason I can purchase half-empty antique bottles but I cannot bring myself to buy something that is supposed to be new, but mauled. Well, if I ever change my viewpoint, I have my secret stash sitting . . . and maybe it will be down 90% next time.

Berdoues - Tabac

2010-05-24T14:34:00.000-07:00

Whomping tobacco-vanilla-musk thing that I can feel throbbing in my gut. It opened with a tremendous aw(e inspiring)ful roasted green, vegetal note that was like rainforests (bulbous trunks, palm sap) being burnt down and slashed open with machetes (beetle husks). I feel kind of ill. I nearly wrote "kill" instead of "ill." That's true too. This shit probably causes tumours in lab rats. I probably have 72 IFRA-restricted materials on my wrist. Is there such a thing as a slapping machine? It would be a 1930s sham weight-loss contraption consisting of wire egg beaters and rubber mallets attached to wide elastic bands that would buffet your body. Smelling this feels physically exhausting. It's like a mutant Queen Kong Habanita if she were into financial humiliation and screaming at you to give up your bank card while threatening to singe you with cheap fags. Oh god, I'm so tired. How am I supposed to live life (make dinner? go to the marche? live life?) while I have this fucking reverse IV-drip on my arm? I want to cry.
Orientals: I can't do them.
This possibly smells like the scene in Hisayasu Sato's Naked Blood where the girl starts to tempura-fry her own limbs, but I'm too busy dry-heaving to make sure.

Carven - Ma Griffe (vintage)

2010-05-24T13:42:00.000-07:00

Judging from the name, Ma Griffe should be a roaring, clawed monstrix emanating force-fields of toxicity from a single spray of She-Ra platinum arm-cuffs. Instead it is nice, a tad prim, along the lines of Y.

On a semi-related note, my chypres of choice are Parure by Guerlain and Balmain's Jolie Madame. More to come about them soon!

recent acquisitions

2010-05-24T12:36:00.000-07:00

Eau de Rochas - Rochas
Tabac - Berdoues. I've never really encountered a fragrance with "Tabac" in the name, so I'm very excited. Certainly smells strange in the bottle!
Styx - Coty
? - Coty.

Yes, the bottle indeed has a question mark on it and I can find no record of it, either. Is it really called Mystere? Quoi? Qui? Quand? Point d'interrogation? ???? INDEED. If you know anything about the elusive "? DE COTY" please let me know!

Sinfonia di Note - Saveur d'Artichaut

2010-05-19T16:16:00.000-07:00

Pleasant mild green, soapier than most, verging on Irish Spring territory. What I was actually wishing for was the savour of Cynar, my favorite spirit of all time - cola-coloured artichoke liqueur with a bittersweet chinotto taste, I only get to have it once a year. It has the flavour of old Italy, I imagine it streaming from goblets in Florentine palazzos, while dulcet d'Annunzio-esque lines are declaimed. But I am getting carried away, this does NOT smell like Cynar nor picturesque ruins nor Venetian belladonna braids being undone before bed, Saveur d'Artichaut smells like squeaky-clean SOAP, well-scrubbed like an Ingalls sister.

EDIT: Now it smells like artichokes being sweated in a pan.

Escada - Marine Groove

2010-05-13T20:30:00.000-07:00

Malibu Musk.

Aroma M - Geisha Marron

2010-05-10T14:34:00.001-07:00

If something has the word "marron" in its name, it should conjure up images of chestnuts, smoke, THE COLOUR BROWN, nuts, hell, any kind of nut, I'd even take peanuts and soynuts and hemp seeds, anything earthy and dirty and remotely nature-related.
So why do I smell like Clairol and hand sanitizer?
I need a little dancing GIF of an angry face.
Maybe they mean "marrant," like HA HA HA HEE HEE HEE THIS DOESN'T SMELL LIKE CHESTNUTS WE'RE TAKING YOUR MONEY HO HO HO.

Dana - Tabu eau de cologne

2010-05-06T13:48:00.000-07:00

I've had previous bad encounters with Tabu (staining my arm ochre, a rash) but today it smells fantastic - it began with a POP! like root beer and ended up the most comfortable, well-worn powdery vanillic oriental. I have a fraught relationship with orientals - from Coromandel to Shalimar, they invariably turn to an asphyxiating, brownish cloud of cigarette fumes on me (does benzoin not work with my chemistry? I dare not try Opium). But Tabu feels like slipping on a faded cotton t-shirt - it's wearable, doesn't growl, and ironically, makes me feel fresher, cleaner, and happier than most purported FRESH! CLEAN! SHEER! things that smell like smashed lightbulbs. And it's a cheapo-bargain to boot! Yeah, everyone's happy.

fotos

2010-05-05T18:08:00.001-07:00

Hello! Do you like glamorous and artistic photographs of old perfume bottles, shot with a true photographer's eye? Beautiful bottles set against blue damask backdrops, antique china plates with happy weavers' daughters on them, and crystal vases of lilacs? Or hairdresser dummies draped with pearls or ladies' gloves or 50s costume jewelry brooches or Tiffany lamps or hydrangea sprays?
Well, that's too bad. Welcome to the shoddy world of prpp, where I can't be arsed to vacuum, move said vacuum tubes and plugs, or find a clean board to set objects upon. Yeah!

L-R: L'Origan by Coty; another beautiful deco-ey design for L'Origan; Paris by Coty; Parure by Guerlain; Bellodgia by Caron; Cabochard by Gres.

L-R: Shocking by Schiaparelli; Audace by Rochas; Magie by Lancome; Sikkim by Lancome; Baghari by Robert Piguet; Vivara by Emilio Pucci; Jolie Madame by Balmain.

Back row: Les Pois de Senteur by Caron. Front row L-R: Rive Gauche by Yves Saint Laurent; Le Dix by Balenciaga; Cialenga by Balenciaga; Madame by Carven; Ma Griffe by Carven; Antilope by Weil.

L-R: Veritable Eau de Cologne Imperiale Extra-Dry by Guerlain; Dioressence; Dior-Dior; Diorissimo, all by Christian Dior.

That's all.

Guerlain - Veritable Eau de Cologne Imperiale Extra-Dry

2010-05-05T18:03:00.001-07:00

The extra-dry is right. Unsweetened lime tonic. This makes me thirsty.

mmmm, the sweet smell of poverty

2010-05-01T16:20:00.000-07:00

Guerlain - Ode eau de cologne
Guerlain - Veritable Eau de Cologne Imperiale
Caron - Les Pois de Senteur eau de cologne
Balenciaga - Cialenga
Carven - Ma Griffe

Today got TEN STARS.

Le Labo - Patchouli 24

2010-05-01T16:18:00.000-07:00

Punishing one-note smoky tea that depressed my normally vibrant libido and appetite for food.

Christian Dior - Dior-Dior (vintage parfum)

2010-04-29T14:56:00.000-07:00

1. Your face in coils and coils of warm dark hair when silk becomes grease and jasmine oil cloaks balls of sebum.
2. There's a Swedish movie, Night Games, a son hides up his mother's (Ingrid Thulin) crinoline and steals her filmy underthings - later he is seen in bed sucking away at them, impassioned and frustrated - this smells like ugly desire, and hating yourself for wanting something so badly -
THIS IS ALL ANIMAL ON ME, noticing pores sweat hair on someone you admire -
Occasionally there are wisps of lily of the valley and jasmine but then the lovely woman laughs and hikes up her skirt . . . (an acrid, thick, curd-like odour)
Sometimes it's appalling.
Other times lulling and heartbreaking, like being struck by the softness of the nape of the neck.
Visual equivalent - the Helga paintings
Book equivalent - Madame Edwarda

Czech & Speake - Oxford and Cambridge

2010-04-05T22:01:00.000-07:00

Possibly the most boring perfume in the world, the waffle-weave of fragrance.

L'Occitane - Jasmine (Notre Flore)

2010-04-05T21:59:00.000-07:00

Fresh blankets in a well-furnished hotel. Candle-like, more atmospheric than skin-scent.

Weil - Antilope (vintage parfum)

2010-04-05T21:57:00.000-07:00

What the well-dressed mori girl is wearing this spring. Fawn-coloured sleep in a sun-soft haystack.

Czech & Speake - Dark Rose

2010-03-07T11:48:00.001-08:00

Rapidly wilting bouquet of roses left behind in a Quaker farmers' church somewhere in Elora, Ontario.

Nanadebary - Pink

2010-03-07T11:47:00.001-08:00

Opening a box containing pink lucite heels, fresh from Frederick's of Hollywood.

Fendi - Asja

2010-02-26T20:30:00.000-08:00

This smells like it costs $950/ml.

Issey Miyake - Le Feu d'Issey

2010-02-24T22:08:00.001-08:00

(I found this last night in a truly abhorrent strip mall. The washroom was garlanded with clumps of shit. Was the potential contamination worth it? Yes. Because . . .)

mossy rock
vitamin powder
condensed milk, sliding off durian waffles
hot sauna stone
minute comet particles, gleaming rock
Roswell autopsy
peeling a metallic skin off fruit the colour of pyrite
jackfruit
melting tropical fruit parfait
salt-lick for deer
sweat
sponge
tennis shoe sole
T.O.U.C.H.I.N.G. by Paul Sharits - violently crimson tongue scissored between silvery blades
wet globules and gobbets
soft & lapping, apricot skin
"rote sonne"
decaying soursop in the sun, covered with flies
meteorites
the texture of wadded-up nylon
zinc for sunscreen, cobalt Adam-Ant streaks across the nose
yeast, fresh bread
caverns
stalactites
mercury
deconstruction of lipstick - mica, fish scales, cochineal
coagulated vanilla-milk skin
rubber
magma
red vinyl
the insides of a piano
Kiki Smith gem insides
cold stethoscope against chest
latex sap
chalk
fake snow

REVELATION: If a perfume could be a film this would be Progessive Slidings of Pleasure. It smells of the colour red, mannequins, salt, wax, the sea.

question

2010-01-31T14:23:00.000-08:00

How can you date Guerlain perfumes accurately?
When did they discontinue the crazy op-art black-and-white packaging, introduce the slender gold-and-(fill in blank colour rectangle) boxes, then finally to gold?
What about the dark blue boxes with little fountains?
And the light-brown-and-ivory "wooden" boxes?
Can anyone help?
Thank you.

FOUND!

2010-01-16T17:19:00.000-08:00

OMG DIOR-DIOR PARFUM!!!! I want to bite off my own arm at my good luck!!!
Madame de Carven edt
Vivara parfum by Emilio Pucci (vintage, well, everything here is)
Baghari parfum by Robert Piguet (arghhhhhhh!!!!!!)
Jolie Madame by Balmain

AND YESTERDAY
I broke down and bought Chanel's Bois des Iles, a humongoid bottle that I stared at for 1/2 hour.

I am poor, will have no food, no heat, and will take cool-lukewarm showers for the next month.

L'essence de Mastenbroek - Eau de Polder

2010-01-08T14:51:00.000-08:00

Spacious, red-clovered teletransport in a bottle that feels (bare-footed) of rolling azure sky, sweet hay, and meadows. Barns, crimson paint.

Heeley - Menthe Fraiche

2010-01-08T14:50:00.000-08:00

Phosphorescent mint that glows and waves like coral and ciliae under black light. Tea and mint.

Dior - Diorissimo

2010-01-08T14:38:00.001-08:00

Incomparable freshness and beauty, celadon green stems you can snap your teeth into, balanced with the fragility and massed fairyland glow of thousands of tiny bells. Graceful, warm, and smiling.
This is the most enchanting muguet, period.

Guerlain - L'Heure Bleue (vintage)

2010-01-08T14:34:00.000-08:00

(cackling to myself while caressing the bottle: yeah, motherfuckers!) But really . . .

I THINK THIS BOTTLE IS BEYOND REVIEW. Like with other beautiful but probably horrendously preserved vintages, it fills my mouth with a cotton-ball, tangible inhalation of musky silk and powder, moth scales, and cobwebs. Difficult to discern a distinctive "perfume," for all I can taste is mahogany must (comparable to my poor dear bottle of also orange-rust L'Origan). Heavy clove, carnation, and violets.
Forty minutes later, waverings of hazelnut, light milky sugar, like seeing a filmy petticoat underneath swishes of a suffocating evening gown. Violets lining a parasol, unglazed porcelain.

Hilde Soliani - Saaliiisssiimo

2010-01-06T13:52:00.000-08:00

A playful and engaging exploration of licorice - from the salty and mouthwatering POW! POW! topnote punch-in-the-face of Dutch dubbel zoute, sootblack and puckering - the pinkly pastel confectionery sugar'd Allsort, taken up with silver tongs - the cheap blast of unwanted Halloween Good 'n' Plentys - to the gentle ruffling of twigs and celadon shoots, as serene and soft as a waterbird's belly. Wonderful wonderful wonderful.

Lostmarch - Lann-Ael

2009-10-21T13:05:00.000-07:00

Fairyland billows of creme chantilly and caramelised apples on toasted buckwheat galettes. This smells like cake through and through. Prizes for being true to the product description. Makes me want to eat from trees that grow lunch-pails.

Diptyque - Oyedo

2009-10-01T15:29:00.001-07:00

Alexander Calder mobile made of limes.