Chanel - No. 18

The opening notes of this are so completely horrid that I can't think straight. Ambrette seed, despite its creampuff name, is a VILE, asafoetidic, toecurling shitstain of a smell, like crabbed pubic hair burning, all the circles of hell combined, a million rotting goat carcasses, any medical term ending in -asis, papait mix, and the plague. If you can still breathe after the miasma has cleared (5 min.), what remains is a metallic sylph, like one inhabiting a dying brook. This is the strangest fragrance ever conceived, a headfucker, I can't imagine who would want to shell out $200+ to smell like a mermaid amputee.