Jennifer Lopez - Deseo

More sophisticated than one would expect.

Celine Dion - Sensational

Mindless, but not dreadful. Soulless florist. Peaches from a botulism-infected tin.

Comme des Garcons - Carnation

Febrile and as glossily, glaringly red as freshly-licked cinnamon hearts. Not very subtle, the equivalent to Tex Avery's Red Hot Riding Hood. Music to be wolf-whistled to.

Comme des Garcons - Series 3 - Incense: Avignon

The scent that I think emitted from St. Lydwine of Schiedam's sores.
Like all CdGs on me, it has zero lasting power, but its evanescent existence is marked with exquisite Decadent gloom.

Lush - Potion solid perfume

For years, I believed the perfect scent was that of Roger and Gallet carnation soap, spicy and simple. Potion replicates the exact smell for hours on end - 11 hours later, it still lingered on my wrists. However, its major drawback is that same linearity. It has zero development and screams the same pink shrillness for an entire day.
For value and longevity though, ($11 for a tin that will last forever - the perfume is not very malleable, you'll never make a dent in it) Potion beats other oeillets, like Bellodgia, CdG Carnation etc. Bang for the buck, but apply sparingly.

L'Artisan Parfumeur - Bois Farine

CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH! This made me laugh out loud, because the top note is exactly like being konked over the head with a baguette. What remains is a gentle nut-bread loafiness, like coffee cake dusted with icing sugar. Not at all bottle-worthy, but decant-decent for a five-minute pick-me-up.

Eau d'Italie - Sienne l'Hiver

Iris has an elegiac, opalescent quality that reminds me of dying naiads. I cannot wear it - it tastes too much like tears. Would fare better on a pale blonde racked by consumption, attended by a slyly necrophiliac suitor.