FOUND!

OMG DIOR-DIOR PARFUM!!!! I want to bite off my own arm at my good luck!!!
Madame de Carven edt
Vivara parfum by Emilio Pucci (vintage, well, everything here is)
Baghari parfum by Robert Piguet (arghhhhhhh!!!!!!)
Jolie Madame by Balmain

AND YESTERDAY
I broke down and bought Chanel's Bois des Iles, a humongoid bottle that I stared at for 1/2 hour.

I am poor, will have no food, no heat, and will take cool-lukewarm showers for the next month.